Happy Halloween

So after we left the hospital on our way to the car we started to lighten up a bit. It was decided we would stop at a near by Friendly's for icecream. We were approaching our vehicle and I heard "excuse me sir". It was a fairly heavy set guy in a wheel chair. He had a problem. His access ramp on his van didn't have enough room to get lowered because the people next to him parked to close. He asked me to back his van up enough so that the side door cleared the car next to him. I said sure. I have to say it was interesting. There was no drivers seat since he was able to drive from his wheel chair. Quite the set up he had in there. Anyway there I am sitting on the floor pressing on the brake pedal, lifting my self up with my right arm so I could see out the windows to make sure I didn't back out into a car (You should have seen the parking lot. Reminded me of an Ozzfest but without the screaming drunks or piles of trash) and holding onto the wheel with my left hand. So, I helped the guy out and he thanked me and I said "No problem man".

This reminds me of a time at the Unimart in town. I'm getting gas. This very elderly woman pulls up in a newer volvo. She gets out and it's obvious to me that she has no clue. I can't recall exactly what she said word for word but it was close to "I need gas." My response was "Yea?" She then said something like, "I don't know how." I said, "You don't know what?" She then said "Forget it!" and got in her car and drove away. Of course I knew what her problem was the whole time. However, the way she went about it I didn't feel to bad about how I played it.

I can't find the modem for my PDA already. I'm running home here within the hour to see if I left it in my pants from the other day. I hope so! I can do my Lowe's work without it, but it's a pain in the ass then. I have to use this fax on demand system (FOD) and it's so much easier with my PDA.

Happy Halloween by the way to all the ghosts and ghouls out there. I'm looking forward to trick or treating with my little devil boy this evening. I didn't get to see him much today but when I did, he was happy to see me.

Gots to go!

Later.

I love you "Sissypants".

The day

I have a few things on my mind tonight, but I'll start with this.

It was a tense morning. My "Sisspants" and I arrived at Geisinger about 20 minutes early. Once we got there I started to loose the control that I had over my emotions. I started to get so nervous. I could feel it turning like a whirlpool in my stomach. First thing we did was have a counseling session. This is something that Julie has been through a lot. They ask questions about family history and give you a run down of what this or that is and what to expect. The longer that session went on the more Julie was getting upset.

Next was the ultrasound. We got lucky and were able to get in a half hour early. The time to find out what exactly was going on with our little girl was at hand. As we held hands we watched the monitor. With every area viewed came positive news and before we knew it we were talking to the doctor. Everything looks fine.

And by the way, she is still a she.

Thanks to everyone that kept us in your thoughts.

Later.

I love you Julie and our flip flopping little girl.

Today, tomorrow, and beyond...

This morning Julie and I go to Geisinger. There she'll be getting a "fancy" ultrasound, one that is more revealing than those done here close to home. It's been a rough week for her, waiting for this day. However, here it is and I am ready to find out what is going on exactly. It may be nothing or it could be something. Of course, I am hopeful for the best. I have done all that I can this week to keep my emotions in check. As we stand right now, nothing is wrong. Lets hope the news stays that way after today. Not just for me or Julie, but for our growing little girl.

Julie has many reasons for being emotional, and contrary to what she may think I do understand. Things from the past, very painful things, have surfaced for her this past week. Like I said, I do understand. That said, I also understand that we know nothing at this moment to be so upset about. She's heard this kind of news before and I'm sure the waiting game is enough to drive a person crazy (hey, I'm playing that game now too) but staying positive and optimistic is a must right now. The here and now is what we live for, doing so for our futures. The past can be a painful place. Don't loose sight of the future...

Let's change gears shall we?

Got my first week in with the Lowe's job. I must say, it was a welcomed change of pace. I was pretty much busy all the time. It was like in a blink of an eye, and 7 hours were gone. Unlike my "full" time job where 7 hours can drag out for so long... This week I'm on my own. I'm going to be working four five hour days 9am-2pm. If that's a little rough on me next week I'll go with five four hour days. In a nut shell, the job ain't bad at all.

I believe I'm calling that a wrap folks.

Later.

I love you Julie.

I'm asking a favor

I wrote yesterday of my wife's desire to hear comforting words from the doctor. Today she heard words, but they were not comforting. They were open ended. She has heard these words too much in her life, and I can only imagine how it must feel. She needs to get some tests done. There are some question marks about the baby's health that need addressed. She had heard the same thing when she was pregnant with Connor. All was well in the end for our son. I know I can not do much, but I will do everything that I can for her and our baby girl. The tests will tell a million things.

What it means to me, is everything. Every day, I wish the best for my wife and our growing little girl. I don't think I could wish more upon anyone right now. The thought of something going wrong, is unthinkable. I am hopeful, at the same time I have to be open minded to everything. I don't think I can put into words how that makes me feel. I have and will continue to put every once of myself into seeing that my family lives a good life. I am a strong man and no matter what I will remain strong for every one. Although it is easy for me to say I will remain strong for myself, I know that time will tell that tale. Right now, my wife and our baby girl need me.

My favor? Keep us and our growing little girl in your thoughts and hearts. Wish us the best. There is nothing I want more than a little girl to grow up along side my little boy.

Later & thank you.

I love you Julie, always.

I continue...

...as we all must.

She's growing ya know? Tonight my "Sissypants" noticed her body beginning to change. I noticed this earlier but wasn't going to say a word. What's that, I'm a pussy? You think maybe I wanted denutted? Anyway, our little girl is growing and soon my misses will hear the words she needs to hear from the doctor to put her mind at ease. I'm sure of it. How could she not with all this love we have for our daughter already? She's going to be daddy's little girl and that thought just makes me grin. Reflecting back (I guess I do that because it gives me a great perspective on things), I never imagined having a son or a daughter not so long ago. Now look at me. I have a fussy little boy that I love with all my heart and a little girl taking to life more and more with each second. I love it, I really do. For the record, if the ultrasound guy turned out to be wrong I'll have an interesting blog that day!

Speaking of Connor, all is as it should have always been. One of the more painful chapters of my life has been closed now. No matter how much you make yourself not think about something, you still do think about it. I was slapped in the face with this and faced it with tears. Here we all are Hedghogs. Anyway, my mom says Connor is Dutch because you can't understand what he's saying. His little lips do flap quite a bit. However I disagree with my mom on this one. Sure most of what he says is baby jibberish, but some is not. I will put it in the books that his first words were mom and dad, just like a good boy. However, the words of choice are: See it, See that, What's that. I'm sure more often than not he has no idea what he's saying. All the time though, I don't know. He'll point at stuff and say "see that" or "what's that" or "see it". If we're lucky we are treated to a "see that shit". Yes, mommy and daddy need to work on our vocabulary.

I'm not the best step dad on earth, but I am certainly working on it.

Tomorrow I start my Lowe's job. I'm not really nervous. I would say I'm excited and ready! All I want to do is go in and get out.

I had some concerns about not being able to go trick or treating this year (6pm-8pm) because of needing some sleep. You know what? I'm not going to miss it. I'm sorry for even thinking I would Julie. I'll be there. Not because I have to, but because to me that's what good daddy's do.

I'm starting to get my very own red dots on the map. Awesome.

G has his car just about ready to roll and I'm very happy for him. Good job dude! I can tell he's happy and excited. He's the only person that I know that would get into such a project without having any notches on his belf about it before hand. That brain of yours is a gift to you.

My dog is currently sporting "the cone". She looks so unhappy. I think I'll post a picture of her! That should cheer her up.

Now, where were those help wanted ads...

Later.

I love you Julie.

My "You're on notice" list.

Make your very own! http://www.shipbrook.com/onnotice/

That's right, this is my own personal list. Everyone on it is on some sort of notice with me.

Drum roll please...

...the baby is a girl! Well, probably a girl. The ultrasound guy said he thinks it's a girl. You know, that's the only thing that dude does is ultrasounds so I'm leaning towards believing him. The doctor said he was holding off judgment until the next ultrasound in two weeks. Assuming it is a girl "Sissypants" and I are on the same wave length when it comes to a name.

So, I was talking this tough talk about kicking these worthless fuckers out of my house. However, after doing some research tonight I think it would be a bit easier to wait these last 12 weeks of the year. That's right folks, only 12 weeks left. Seems to be fairly straight forward after the lease has run it's course. Less time in court and what not.

I'll write again tomorrow, I'm running late got shit to do!

Later.

I love you Julie.

Are you a local?

If so get involved in this forum!
http://huffnpuff.freeforumsite.com/

If I took the time to sign up, what exactly is your malfunction?

Follow the sticky backed tile road

Would you believe the landlady is actually getting around to fixing up here place? I couldn't believe it myself, but it is happening. Friday I believe the guy came over and started laying tile. Did he finish? No. It's about 3/4 of the way done and word has it he'll be back Tuesday to finish it up. At least we were able to set up the dining room table and have our first meal as a family in over a month. What was on the menu? Fish sticks and mac n cheese!

My friend Jamie had a birthday bash of sorts. There was some drinks and we played some rummy. I'm sure if there would have been a few more people a game of asshole would have been bound to go down, but as it were we hit the wall at like 10pm. Sitting there, feeling like that makes you realize something. We are getting old. It makes me think of the coming New Year. If I recall correctly we had a pretty good time at our house last year and I think we plan on doing it again. Hopefully we can get the same turn out if not another person or two. By then my "sissypants" will be sporting a 5 month baby in her belly.

Speaking of that, Wednesday is so close. I'm getting flutters in my belly thinking about it. While we were at Wal-Mart today (my apologizes G) I saw this little pink girly teddy bear thing. Not exactly sure what it was, but it made me smile thinking about a little girl. Either way, healthy is all that we need. A boy or girl will be welcomed to the clan with open arms and hearts.

Tuesday is a big day for other big reasons. It's been a long 13+ months little Hedglin...

So I got these fuckers that live in my house. Can't seem to pay, all at once. I get upset, yes I do. My wife gets more upset, what can I do? Two more months, is all that's on the lease. After that time, we shall set them free. I would have no problem giving them a Christmas eviction. If it keeps up, I may just be Jolly Saint Nick.

This is the part of the show where I like to introduce the members of my band. Julie, Connor, Shaina, Drew, Kida, Raja, Cheeseball, Poop, and the fish. You all make me crazy. In a good way.

I've been kicking the idea around of starting a poetry blog. I also, can't kick the idea of a novel out of my head (thanks G). I know that angelfire is as cutting edge as 1999 so I smell change. Once upon a time I use to have the domain johnspoetry.com however as time went on they decided I needed to pay for it so I said funk dat. We'll see. Doing anything with my poetry or a novel will take time. Time as it is, seems to disappear.

Speaking of time and seeing less of it, I start at Lowe's on the 24th. Get trained for 3 days then on my own the following Monday. I'm not terribly nervous or anxious. I just want to get in there and make some cash.



I like transformers. What's wrong with that?

Later.

I love you Julie.

Need a laugh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc6w4SzIUN0

You can never go wrong with properly placed beeps...

Today's dose

The 18th will be "Find out what the baby is." day. Stay tuned.

Well well well, looks like Bazooka Joe knew his shit. I went for my interview last Wednesday for a part time job at Lowe's. I confess, it was the smoothest interview I can ever remember having. To keep it short and to the point, they called me around 6pm that evening and offered me the job. I accepted. The job doesn't start up until the end of the month and I go back tomorrow to fill out paper work. I'm looking forward to getting started.

You know what rubs me the wrong way about the job? It pays almost $2 more an hour than my full time job that I've had for over three years now. I suppose that rubbing comes from drw and not lowe's. I can't believe I'm still here. I may just go to the temp agencies and see what they have and blow this popsicle stand.

Yes, I am a registered voter. I may not have always been, but I am now. Are you?

I washed and waxed the blazer on Sunday with some help from my "sissypants". I must say, it looks pretty damn good. Now for the a/c compressor, wheel sensors for the abs, probably ball joints before inspection, oil cooler lines, christ...where's the minivan?

Been one month and the landlady still hasn't fixed the floor downstairs since the flood. Oh you want rent? Huh? I want a floor...

I find that I feel like I'm grabbing at straw for ideas of what to write...

Later.

I love you Julie.