One more thing

Not to complain or to over look all the good that has come my way, but if I could have "one more thing" it would be to sell this house. I have had a few calls since I placed a new ad in the local papers, but nothing solid. I have some people coming by tomorrow afternoon to look.

"Sissypants" and I have had a pretty intense couple of days. Nothing in the negative. We've just been very reflective and appreciative of where we are and what has come our way. It's quite wonderful. We've made a couple promises to ourselves. Everything is still going well between me, "D", and "S". It's not looking like the weather is going to be in our favor, but if it changes we are going to Knoebles on Saturday. That should be interesting. My mom wished upon me kids that want to get on every ride, because I am not a huge ride buff. So it looks like she is getting a wish granted.

Speaking of mom or should I say grammy, she's hitting me up for new pictures. I think that's pretty awesome.

I'm a bit under the weather. Been fighting a cold. I've been keeping it at bay, but it's still hanging around.

These hurricanes are crazy. I don't know why anyone would want to live in those areas affected by them. I would have to look into relocating after I went through one. Just insane...

I hope "G" is doing alright on his latest road trip.

Went on a mini job hunt yesterday morning. Found 2 possibilities. I like the one more than the other. It pays .60 less an hour but the schedule is 4 ten hour days. I could handle 3 day weekends every week.

Yankees are 1/2 game in first place. It's about time.

As for now I'm off to write a poem.

Later.

Papa adventures

Yes, I'm loving my new role in life. It's much better than the one I had. I can't complain about a single thing. Not even a stinky assed baby boy. He's great. "Sissypants" is great. I currently have no complaints. If "D" and "S" behave this week we are going to go to Knoebles on Saturday I think. Weather permitting. Sissypants feels bad not going anywhere with them this summer, so I suggested going. It will be fun. I think...

Sissypants said her ex is doing the old "kill myself" bit. She was somewhat concerned. I told her that she should not be. After all when someone knows that someone is that type of person, the person usually takes advantage of it. He's just trying to hold on. He has a daughter to think of. I wrote about this long ago. He's just a weak man and I don't feel sorry for him at all. I have been down the road of suicidal thoughts and came to this conclusion on my own: If your going to do it, then do it. If not, then shut up. I chose to shut up and let my pen and paper be my release.


House news: I have a contractor from NJ coming by Thursday I believe. How someone in NJ heard about it is out of my hands. If it sells I'm getting a tattoo very soon.

Well I have to finish up here.

Later.

Drum roll please...

DNA test results are in. 99.99997% that I am the daddy. If I could only explain how I feel. Relieved does not do the feeling justice. Looking back at everything that has happened I come to a few conclusions. "Sissypants" and I have a relationship with one strong ass foundation. I have tested myself to degrees I never knew I could. The best part about that is that I past those tests. Final conclusion: Life is looking better everyday.

Connor lost his umbilical cord stump. Now he has himself a cute little belly button. He also pissed on me last night for the first time while we were bathing him. It was pretty funny, I laughed a good bit.

House news: None! I have someone nibbling but they haven't bitten yet. Thus, newspaper ads here I come.

I'm off to write a poem in regards to the greatest news of my life.

Later.

With highs there are lows

Too bad it seems to always work that way. Seems like today was a low day for both myself and "sissypants". I was alright for most of the day. I could tell the past couple of days there has been things on sissypants mind but she hasn't been speaking up. So today she was suppose to call me around 4 and didn't call till about 6. I know nothing major, but I got somewhat upset with her about it. Basically it comes down to picking up the phone and letting me know. So we went to wal mart and the entire trip she was distant. I stopped her and told her just because I was upset with her didn't mean I was going to be for the entire night. She had a couple tears in the store and I told her she needs to start opening up more. She said she would once we got done. We got back to her place and talked for a bit. Today would have been her anniversary. She told me her dad wished her a happy anniversary. Her daughter who spent the night over at her ex's visiting with his daughter did the same. She said she was put up to it.

This hit a nerve with me. Not so much her daughter, but her dad. "J" tired defending her dad some, but I failed in seeing any defense for it. The defense was "He wasn't thinking". I say for as long as she's been gone, there's not way it happened other than he meant it. In fact the more I think of it the more I get pissed. This coming from a guy that has said he thinks I will make a good dad. I told her it sounded like to me her dad has wishful thinking with her and the ex. At this particular moment her dad has taken a few steps backwards in my mind. This all lead to us talking about what ifs some. I asked her why she hasn't taken more steps forward with her divorce and her response was money. I can see that point, but I would be more than willing to help her out. I told her we can only move so far forward with her being married. I told her I got the vibe that I would be gone if the DNA test come back saying I'm not the daddy. She assured me that it was not the case so time tells. As for the results, I'm placing a call today because they haven't showed up. They said 5 days. They picked up the sample Saturday, no mail Sunday, holiday Monday so I'm hopeful today they will show up.

At this moment I'm agitated and am giving myself a headache.

Later

Nothing by baby details

As I sit here and munch on a left over chocolate chip cookie I know the following words will be easy to find.

Sweet Connor has decided to come join us in the world. It all started Thursday night. "Sissypants" was having some leaking ever since her doctors appointment earlier in the week. She called out and she was told that we should go out. So we went out and she was still dilated the same. Again, they had us go for a walk for about an hour. After the walk she was checked again and she was about 5cm dilated, which was 2 more cm. However after a little while the nurses and mid wife were talking about sending her home. She was having some contractions but nothing too bad. Her back was achy so they offered her a shot for the pain. So she got the shot and we were going to hang out for about an hour then head home. However, someone else had other plans...

Very shortly after the pain shot her contractions started getting worse. Then before you knew it we were told we weren't going anywhere. It was time. Just typing those words gave me a chill. Things went very well and progressed quickly. She dilated to 8cm in a short time. However the ease of the situation would soon end. She appeared to freeze in dilating. Her water did break. From 8pm-5:15am she labored, painfully. The baby thought he'd come out with his hand on his head. Unfortunately the door wasn't big enough. At 5:15am the doctor said and I quote "Okay, lets cut ya". A C-section, something that was not foreseen and something that gave me a case of nerves.

After give sissypants a shot to stop contractions and having her fill out some forms (let me say it looked very difficult for a woman to fill out anything while in the middle of a contraction) they wheeled her off to the O.R. While they got her ready I changed into some "scrubs" and waited to join her. After about 15 minutes of waiting the doctor came and got me. There was a bunch of people in the room. I couldn't give you a number. At least 6. They had something like a curtain tied up right below "J"s neck so all I could see of her was her head and arms. Her arms were stretch out. They sat me next to her head. She had told me once they gave her the anesthesia she got the giggles. I'd say I was in there about 15 minutes. During that time things went smoothly. Then the doctor came over and told me I could look now if I wanted. So I stood up and witnessed something that no one or anything can take away. Right before my eyes and by the skilled hands of doctor a head was pulled out. Then shoulders, followed by a back. Finally a little butt and tiny legs. I told sissypants everything I was seeing, with a tear in my own eye. Shortly after I saw him, I heard him. He was a angry little mister. Then the words were spoken. Congratulations, it's a boy. They brought him over to a table for cleaning him. Sissypants and I watched. I saw a tear in her eyes. After they had him cleaned up and bundled they brought him over so we could get a good look.

After the look, I went to the nursery with a nurse as they dropped him off while the doctors finished taking care of my sissypants. That is where he was weighed and measured. After all that I went and told the grammies the happenings. They were both there. My mom was in the room up until it was time for the C-section. "J"s mom took things a little more rough and left the room once her contractions started getting real bad. Anyways, after that I went and got out of my scrubs and grabbed our stuff out of the room and moved it to the recovery room. It took them about 2 hours to finish with "J". Once she was in the recovery room I joined her there. She wasn't in there too long. I think a couple hours. Then around 11am we went back to the nursery to room 509. Shortly after sissypants was situated in we were joined by a beautiful little man.

My entire weekend was spent out at the hospital for the most part. Other than coming home to sleep & take care of my and "G"'s animals I was there. I was not allowed to stay past 11pm. Those are the rules. Every morning I was there around 8am.

Today was another big day fore it was coming home day. We dressed him his "coming home" outfit, cleaned up all our stuff and strapped him in and off we went. We had to stop at the Pharmacy on the way home, so guess how got to parade a sexy baby around the store. He was so good. In fact, his only real fussiness came when he was circumcised. That day he was pretty crabby, but I ask you: Wouldn't you? After that off to home.

I'm sure I left some stuff out, and I'm sure I will add more later.

Baby thoughts: I think he has my lips. I think he has my chin. I think he has my fingers. I think he has my toes. I know he has my love. My mom brought out my baby pictures on her second visit. I must say, we share lots.

Speaking of that. Her ex showed up on Sunday. "J" told me he had his baby pictures. She said that he said he saw nothing in common. I say nothing, choosing to bite my tongue. While he was there I went and visited with my grandfather. It's been quite awhile since I have seen him. I tell you I hope I can get around like he does at his age. We talked for a good couple hours. He gave me $20 and told me to go buy that baby a fishing pole. The 20 is now sitting in his huge baby bottle bank.

How am I? Besides overwhelmed by this feeling I have inside, I'm wonderful. What feeling is that? I'm not sure. I can just say it's so nice it makes me tear up.

My mom told me she was proud me. My actions and such. That means a great deal to me.

I must get back to work, but before I do I must admit the whole baby thing is not at all what I thought it would be. Maybe it's because I'm a "noob", but I'm enjoying myself every second of every day. I can't wait until we go and show off our beautiful big footed baby boy. He's not so much big footed as long toed.

Thanks to everyone that' s been there for me and continue to be.

Later.

Welcome to the world.

Connor Owen
Date: 9/2/05
Time: 6:06am
Weight: 7lb 3.oz
Length: 21 inches

Some what of a falsey

"Sissypants" called the doctor yesterday. Her terrible back pain returned and she was feeling some intense pressure "down there". So we went out and she got looked over. The back pain is from the baby pushing on a nerve in her back. She's still dilated 3cm. I could see that brought her down. I know she was hoping to be more. However, she's 90%. Which basically means a few good head butts or punches from the big footed baby boy and her water will be breaking. If she doesn't go this weekend we go back to the doctors on Tuesday.

I'm glad in a way that he has waited until September. Now Connor and "D" won't share the month of August for birthdays. They'll still be close, but not back to back.

When my phone rang and she told me what was going on I thought it was going to be it. However, it turned out not to be. He can take as long as he wants, just as long as he comes out a healthy, beautiful boy.

I wonder how G is doing.

House news: Nadda. I tried calling the guys yesterday but couldn't get a hold of them. I will try again this morning. Keep those fingers crossed and words of luck coming.

I'm pretty tired today. I'm going over to sissypants in the am. Then we are dropping the kiddies off at school. Afterwards I'm heading home to tend to the animals and pass out for a few hours. Speaking of the kiddies, I had my first solo experience with them yesterday. We went to the grocery store. It wasn't too bad. They were pretty good up until the end. "D" kept on calling "S" gay, so "S" would hit the shit out of "D". All in all I give it a 8 out of 10.

As for now, back to work.

Later.