Words spoken

To my surprise I received a phone call this morning from "sissypants". She was calling to let me know that she was calling genetree today. I was just leaving the family planning center when she called. I didn't make out well there, the lady that could have possibly given me some guidance was out of the office. She said she told me she'd let me know what was going on. I told her I had to go with what I've been handed for the past 3 weeks. Which has been nothing.

Anyway, sissypants and I spoke for a good long while. I'd say about a hour and a half. A talk that I believe should have occurred weeks ago. As it is, it happened today. We talked about many things. I can tell you, all the anger and frustration I had towards her eased just by hearing her voice. I don't know if that makes me a softy or what. That is the most serious talk we've had since this all went crazy. Probably the most serious talk we've ever had. She told me some things I needed to hear. How she was actually feeling. How she feels about me. How scared she is about this whole situation. She said she told her husband that we were much more than a fling yesterday. That she loved me...that she still loves me. I guess she said that shook him up. She told me that he said he could tell that she loved me with how she looked when she talked about me. I imagine that would shake anyone up. I know what it did to me, it melted my heart... We talked about fears, dreams, tomorrow and today. It was great and it helped me with many things. She knows me and she knows for me to be opening up like I am, I must really be feeling everything. She asked me a few things that I didn't expect. Apparently there was a rumor from my old job that I was the dad to a baby to some girl there. That was news to me and told her it had to be untrue. She had concern about it so she asked me. I have been totally open about my past mistakes. I will be totally open for the rest of my life after all this. She has a right to inquire, I don't take offense. If it makes her feel better, that's all that matters. I'm just glad she's to a point of opening up. I'm set on not repeating my mistakes.

Well she asked me before we got off the phone this morning to do some research to see if I could find any complaints about genetree. I searched google for about a hour when I got home looking for some kind of forum or something where people complained about their service. I found nothing. In fact all I found were recommendations. So I take a nap and the phone rings around 4pm. It's her and she tells me that she called genetree and guess what... they have no record or file of every doing any tests. Just like I've known for about a week now. I have no idea what she plans on doing now. It is so clear to me her husband is lieing. I just don't know what more she needs to know to point her finger at him and say "You must be lieing." She said she was taking the rest of the day off to rest. She's been in bad shape this whole time and I can't blame her for wanting to rest. She needs it after all. I know she's ready to burn one...too bad she's gonna have to wait!

My current emotional state? Somewhat mellow. I no longer think it is necessary to do what I was thinking of doing. She took a big step in telling her husband to do away with that idea. My anger has come down a ton since our conversations today. It was very helpful for me and I hope it helped her.

Now what... that's a good question. Without anything to test I'll have to wait until this baby is born. That is something I wish could have been avoided but there's not much I can do. Patience must be had. I'd like to see her husband break down and admit he's done something so dishonest and wrong. We'll see what happens.

As for now, back to work.

Later.