Someone tell me what is going on.
That someone would be "sissypants".
So I pick up the phone around 10ish last night. Finally get through to her. I ask her what is going on? What did you find out? Stuff like that. She tells me that genetree has that document. I ask, then why don't they have your names? Not much of a response is given other than she can't do this right now. So I make a request. I do not think it's a absurd request. All I asked for was some kind of account number or test number, something from that document so I can call genetree and hear it from them. A copy would be best. She refused. Why? I do not know. I have a right to hear this information. I need closure and so does she. If that document is true, then why are there any problems? Let me hear it so I can move on and she can move on. I can not just accept hearing it from her only because of everything I have found out on my own. Turn around time and no names on file when they keep records for 7 years is plenty for me to go on! To me something is wrong, very wrong somewhere. I only spoke to her for about 10 minutes before she got so upset she left the house. Running away doesn't fix anything. Then I spoke to her mom. Before she left the house I had her mom say this to her "I'm begging you, please give me something from that letter. A number, a copy, anything so I can hear it for myself and then this can all be done." I heard her in the back ground say no, and it was a very painful no. Like a no that was filled with untruths, like a no that was forced on her. I refuse to believe anything until I hear it from genetree. All it will take is conformation from them. That letter her husband has lost all merit with me weeks ago with my research. However if I am provided information from that letter that I can get verified through genetree, then I will accept it. This should not be this difficult unless something is being hidden. Like the truth.
Her mom and I spoke for a little while. Then we chatted online. Her moms answers to some of my questions also raised my brow when it comes to believing. Her mom sounded very unsure about what was going on. Lots of answers like "I hope so" when I asked her if she thought she was being true and doing the right thing. In a situation like this hope isn't the answer, facts are. So here I am with a pile of facts I have found on my own in one hand, and in the other nothing but doubt about this fucking "letter" from genetree that only took 4 days to get there with test results on it.
So what do I plan on doing? Well I am going to explore my options. I'm going to seek legal help. I would really hate to do that but I need to know. For many reasons. I have enough to prove her and I have been having relations for quite sometime, so there's all the proof I need to raise questions about the father of the baby. If I have to have a court force them to do another test with my DNA I will, OR they could just give me something from this letter so I can hear it from genetree. I know what I would do, especially if everyone is so sure and believes this paper is true. I'd say, "Just give him a copy, let him call and that can be that." No names on file or record makes me say that letter is a pile of bullshit. Something else is going on here and until it's proven to me I will always think this way.
How am I feeling? Hurt. Confused. Lost. I can't believe she would just accept whatever her husband hands her as fact. I can't believe she'd be so willing to go back after she gathered up enough strength to leave on her own. I remember that night, she was so strong. I was very proud to be in love with her. This is not the same sissypants I was talking to on the phone. What is it called when you don't learn from mistakes? Ignorance? I'm not sure what to call it. Do I still love her? Yes I do, as crazy as that may sound. I however, can't let her keep me from learning the truth about this baby. So no matter what I have to do, I will do it. I can no longer set my own needs aside for anyone. This is something I need to find out. I told her mom "I'm 27 now, if I don't hear for myself about the test I will question this when I'm 77." That is 100% true. I will never be able to forget this or move on until someone from genetree tells me there was actually a test done and what the results were. Prove it to me, that's all I ask.
I do not foresee hearing from sissypants for awhile. I just tried calling and got the voicemail I will however be in contact with her if I don't hear from her in a few days. By that time I'll have a plan together. I'll know what I can do legally. What do I hope to get out of this? The truth. If the baby is mine, I want to be in his life. It is a boy after all, with some big feet. You know, my feet were so big when I was born they didn't fit on the foot printing pads. I'm not looking to find out just so I can pay support. I want to be involved if he is my child. If he's not, I can work on healing and letting go to a lot of things. Never in a million years did I foresee all this coming. It's here now and it has to be dealt with. Sooner or later sissypants will have to stop running out of the room. If she doesn't, I don't know how she could live with herself.
It's time to go focus on something else for awhile. Like painting.
Later.
So I pick up the phone around 10ish last night. Finally get through to her. I ask her what is going on? What did you find out? Stuff like that. She tells me that genetree has that document. I ask, then why don't they have your names? Not much of a response is given other than she can't do this right now. So I make a request. I do not think it's a absurd request. All I asked for was some kind of account number or test number, something from that document so I can call genetree and hear it from them. A copy would be best. She refused. Why? I do not know. I have a right to hear this information. I need closure and so does she. If that document is true, then why are there any problems? Let me hear it so I can move on and she can move on. I can not just accept hearing it from her only because of everything I have found out on my own. Turn around time and no names on file when they keep records for 7 years is plenty for me to go on! To me something is wrong, very wrong somewhere. I only spoke to her for about 10 minutes before she got so upset she left the house. Running away doesn't fix anything. Then I spoke to her mom. Before she left the house I had her mom say this to her "I'm begging you, please give me something from that letter. A number, a copy, anything so I can hear it for myself and then this can all be done." I heard her in the back ground say no, and it was a very painful no. Like a no that was filled with untruths, like a no that was forced on her. I refuse to believe anything until I hear it from genetree. All it will take is conformation from them. That letter her husband has lost all merit with me weeks ago with my research. However if I am provided information from that letter that I can get verified through genetree, then I will accept it. This should not be this difficult unless something is being hidden. Like the truth.
Her mom and I spoke for a little while. Then we chatted online. Her moms answers to some of my questions also raised my brow when it comes to believing. Her mom sounded very unsure about what was going on. Lots of answers like "I hope so" when I asked her if she thought she was being true and doing the right thing. In a situation like this hope isn't the answer, facts are. So here I am with a pile of facts I have found on my own in one hand, and in the other nothing but doubt about this fucking "letter" from genetree that only took 4 days to get there with test results on it.
So what do I plan on doing? Well I am going to explore my options. I'm going to seek legal help. I would really hate to do that but I need to know. For many reasons. I have enough to prove her and I have been having relations for quite sometime, so there's all the proof I need to raise questions about the father of the baby. If I have to have a court force them to do another test with my DNA I will, OR they could just give me something from this letter so I can hear it from genetree. I know what I would do, especially if everyone is so sure and believes this paper is true. I'd say, "Just give him a copy, let him call and that can be that." No names on file or record makes me say that letter is a pile of bullshit. Something else is going on here and until it's proven to me I will always think this way.
How am I feeling? Hurt. Confused. Lost. I can't believe she would just accept whatever her husband hands her as fact. I can't believe she'd be so willing to go back after she gathered up enough strength to leave on her own. I remember that night, she was so strong. I was very proud to be in love with her. This is not the same sissypants I was talking to on the phone. What is it called when you don't learn from mistakes? Ignorance? I'm not sure what to call it. Do I still love her? Yes I do, as crazy as that may sound. I however, can't let her keep me from learning the truth about this baby. So no matter what I have to do, I will do it. I can no longer set my own needs aside for anyone. This is something I need to find out. I told her mom "I'm 27 now, if I don't hear for myself about the test I will question this when I'm 77." That is 100% true. I will never be able to forget this or move on until someone from genetree tells me there was actually a test done and what the results were. Prove it to me, that's all I ask.
I do not foresee hearing from sissypants for awhile. I just tried calling and got the voicemail I will however be in contact with her if I don't hear from her in a few days. By that time I'll have a plan together. I'll know what I can do legally. What do I hope to get out of this? The truth. If the baby is mine, I want to be in his life. It is a boy after all, with some big feet. You know, my feet were so big when I was born they didn't fit on the foot printing pads. I'm not looking to find out just so I can pay support. I want to be involved if he is my child. If he's not, I can work on healing and letting go to a lot of things. Never in a million years did I foresee all this coming. It's here now and it has to be dealt with. Sooner or later sissypants will have to stop running out of the room. If she doesn't, I don't know how she could live with herself.
It's time to go focus on something else for awhile. Like painting.
Later.
posted by JW at
10:59 AM
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