Happenings

Well my good friends wife has been in communication with "sissypants" today. She seems to think that I'm holding on because of her. This is incorrect. Maybe a week ago, now it's all about finding out for sure what's been going on with this baby and genetic testing. I truthfully don't believe any test was done. I had my friends wife put sissypants on the spot by telling her there is nothing that is stopping her from requesting my DNA be tested with the fluid genetree has on file. If in fact they ever had the test done. I told her this about a week ago as well. I doubt the test because they don't have their names on file or record. I don't mean to repeat myself but it's all true! So we'll see what comes from this. She said she'd call about it Monday. That doesn't mean I'll hear from her. I'll believe it when I see it. I'm also only going to do this if the test results are sent to me. If she doesn't like it, tough shit. I can't trust anyone other than myself, friends, family, and the good folks at genetree. Sissypants left me a offline IM saying "give me some time". It's been three weeks, your time is up. I'm taking this fucker by the horns and I'm steering now.

Yes I still get sad, but I get pissed the more and more I think about things. Apparently sissypants is trying to work things out with her husband. How is she going about doing this? By lieing. Look where lies have gotten her. I don't feel one ounce of remorse anymore for any stress I bring on her, because she's bringing it all on herself. If she would just be honest with everyone this would have been a lot easier. As it is, the only truths I know are the truths I have found on my own. So help me God if there was never a test done and I've been lied to because she thinks working things out with her husband is best for that baby, there will be a man walking on this planet very very pissed off. I could understand her working things out with her husband, but how can you do that if you're not going to let him know about everything? Seems to me she's only telling him I was a one time fling or maybe a few timer. Not a three year long romance. Thanks a fucking lot. You are becoming more selfish with each passing day...Why wouldn't she be honest, probably because no matter how much of an asshole her husband is, he probably wouldn't "forgive and forget" something that had gone on so long. He may be an asshole, but maybe he's not a sucker.

Had lunch with my folks today. Pork chops were good. I can't remember the last time I had a pork chop. My mom had some more advice for me but still lets me know she respects whatever I decide to do. She told me a year before I was born she had an abortion. That was news to me. I think no differently of her for it, she did what she thought was best for herself. For the well being of my mind, I must know for sure about the baby. No matter how much "easier" it may be if I just turned the cheek and looked the other way, that's not going to happen. If I'm going to be a dad, I'm going into parenthood fighting for what I believe in. Some people should realize that I'm not a quitter by now and one hell of a fighter.

So now I'm getting ready for a nap. My heart rate is up. My blood is pumping and my mind is racing less. I'm focused on the baby. Whatever needs to be done, I'm doing. With or without help, I'm getting to the bottom of this one way or another. I don't expect much more pain on my behalf. If things get painful for sissypants, just look in the mirror and point your finger. You have caused me nothing but pain for 3 weeks now by electing to ignore me. What do they say...Pay backs a bitch.

Later.