Sunday

Well Saturday ended alright. I heard from "sissypants" on a couple of occasions. That always cheers me up. In fact the last time I heard from her was about 5 minutes after I left her a voicemail. She didn't get the voicemail when she called. I love it when we are in synch like that. Makes me say "huh". We talked for a little while about everything, as usual. I still wake up thinking of her and the big footed baby boy. The second my eyes open, I realize what's going through my head. It's good that I think like that, but starting out ones day missing people terribly tends to make one sad. Today was no different. Eyes open, thoughts of them. When this all settles down I will take great comfort in knowing that my feelings have never been this strong about anyone and I was willing to do whatever I had to do to keep them. Paying the price, fighting the fight. I wrote a poem about how I battled for the truth. It's about all the research and stuff I did, and I will NEVER regret putting myself through that. If it wasn't for that, I'd hate to think where I would be right now. If things would have pointed me down a different path I'm sure I would be totally out of the picture. However, everything pointed me in a direction that makes me believe I will be around for the long haul. I will be forever greatful for following those feelings I had. August isn't that far away now, so I need to keep that in mind when all the voices in my head start on me. The worst things right now for me are when I can't see her whenever I like, and when the phone doesn't ring for awhile. I tend to worry when the phone is silent. Not seeing her just sucks. I'd like nothing better than to be rubbing her when she aches, feeling the baby every time I could, just being there for her. If I'm lucky enough, blessed enough, to be the one...I will cherish every second I have with her, the baby, and the rest of her family.

Yea...love is consuming.

Got my friends porch roof all jacked up and braced. Wasn't too bad actually. After we were done with all that we went down by the creek and started a fire. Had some hot dogs, beers, and played some cards. I left around 10. Then I came home and putted around online for a little and went to bed. I saw sissypants mom on so I made sure to say hello.

Today, well I'm not sure what I'm doing. Hopefully talking with sissypants or if I'm really lucky maybe I'll see her. I could use to clean up around here. I'll probably burn some things, then head down to do my laundry. My folks said something about lunch, but I don't remember if it was today or tomorrow...

As for now, I'm going to get to it.

Later.