Finding time

I have never wanted to be so normal in my entire life. Here's a question I'd like to be able to answer. How did you sleep last night? Sleep at night? What the fuck is wrong with you people? You are suppose to be up all night and sleep the days away! I honestly feel like I'm getting "sick" because of what I'm working. My brain hurts with all the thoughts I have crashing into one another in there about moving on to the next job. I don't know why I have so many thoughts about it. Maybe, it's because I'm disappointed in myself. I allow myself to be stuck. It would be different if I could move into something else, but I have tried. This place has no structure when it comes to in house movement. Basically it's who you blow, er um, know. I, am not all about that.

I'm about fucking working! Not being left to waste my fucking time. Oh you don't give a shit about me? Guess what, I don't give a shit about you. I use to. I came to work, stayed busy all night and smiled at the end of the day. Now, since I've had three years to see how the boat floats I realize hard work gets you just as much as the guy doing jackfuckingshit, nothing. No where to go. When it comes time for a raise, they toss me a quarter. Wow.

What do I see myself doing in 10 years? I have no clue. None. I know I won't be here. I can't be. If I am, I'd be robbing myself of even more life than I already am. I'm sure I'd find myself reading back over this and starting to sob. After that, perhaps I could beat myself silly with a hammer. Yea, that would be fun.

One last thought about work: Fuck 2 jobs. There's no fun being in an orgy when your sandwiched between two scank ass hoes.

I realize why I haven't been very regular with my blogging. I have no time to live! Here is a quick run down on life.

The house appears to be on track for closing between 12/27-1/15. Everything is going smoothly with getting the ex to sign all the need documents. The folks that were living there are now out and we get the keys back on Thursday. If the house actually does sell, I'm kissing two jobs good-bye.

Connor, now weighs 24lbs. He gots shots yesterday and I was not able to be there. That makes me feel like a bad daddy. Other than his increased level of babbling, nothing new to report. Oh, he did get christmas pictures taken. Such a handsome boy he is.

The baby girl is doing well too. She weighs 1lb 9 oz. Amazing what those ultrasound machines can tell you. "Sissypants" is about 26 weeks now. 14 weeks to go. Jesus, said like that you realize that is no time at all. We are still looking through the names. We had a couple names picked out without looking. I wanted to take some time to look through the names.

In closing, finding time is a hard thing to do.

Later.

I love you Julie.