Story time
Could I interest you in a story?
I have given this no real thought, I'm just "going with the flow". All events are true...
It was sometime in 1994 which made me 16. It was dark but not terribly late. I found myself behind the YMCA with a friend. My friend showed me something that you could do with a soda can. What flavor was it? I do not remember. With a couple bends and a couple holes poked, you would have yourself a home made smoking device. Placed on top of the can where several small holes were poked was something I had never seen before. Marijuana. Pot. Weed. Herb. Mary J. Dope. By any other name, it would be the same. I can remember not being terribly impressed. Due to this I only encounter it once or twice more. That is until I was 18.
Ah, by that age the real world was in my grill. I was working a shit job with shit pay and shit hours. My home life was less than enjoyable. Almost everyday I could feel my sanity slipping further from my grasp. To the point that I think it reached my finger tips. Then Mary came waltzing back in the room. This time it was different. She looked hot, sexy and easy. I would ask the questions, and she would have the answers. Soon I found myself in a long relation. It was a give and take sort of thing. After all you can not have fire, with out a flame. Believe me, I had lots of flame.
For the next 11 years I had something. A cure for my ills? No. Something better than med's I have had prescribed over that time? Yes. Never will I use the word addiction. Thinking back I could use the word problem. I knew it then, but didn't care. When one's pee stinks because of what you put in your body, you have a problem. I can say the same for people that drink and smoke cigarettes. There was a time for about 4 years where I did too much. I'm sure if I were to do the amounts I did back then today, I would be hurt. Unable to function. Alas, as it were I could do my job and do it well. I could block out pain both physical and mental and end up enjoying myself.
In recent years, my intake has dwindled. I'll put it in perspective. "In my prime" I would smoke a half ounce a week, by myself. Sure I'd share with a friend here and there but 95% of it was just for me. This last year I would smoke a quarter ounce. Half the amount. Sharing with my "sissypants". Making it last 2 weeks. So I would no longer use the word problem. It was something my wife and I enjoyed doing, together.
What am I getting too? I really don't think I can say I'm quitting totally. If some one was to say "Hey, you wanna burn one?" I would probably say yes. So what do you call that? I haven't bought any for about a month now and really don't miss it. I know where to go to find it. But I will never need to. I never have had a need. It has always been and will only be if I want to. Right now my life is looking pretty good (minus some money issues due to my deadbeat cunt ex), which is also how I feel. Simply put, I don't want to.
Will I be a better person without it? Doubt it. Will life be better? Somewhat. Regrets? None.
Later.
I love you Julie.
I have given this no real thought, I'm just "going with the flow". All events are true...
It was sometime in 1994 which made me 16. It was dark but not terribly late. I found myself behind the YMCA with a friend. My friend showed me something that you could do with a soda can. What flavor was it? I do not remember. With a couple bends and a couple holes poked, you would have yourself a home made smoking device. Placed on top of the can where several small holes were poked was something I had never seen before. Marijuana. Pot. Weed. Herb. Mary J. Dope. By any other name, it would be the same. I can remember not being terribly impressed. Due to this I only encounter it once or twice more. That is until I was 18.
Ah, by that age the real world was in my grill. I was working a shit job with shit pay and shit hours. My home life was less than enjoyable. Almost everyday I could feel my sanity slipping further from my grasp. To the point that I think it reached my finger tips. Then Mary came waltzing back in the room. This time it was different. She looked hot, sexy and easy. I would ask the questions, and she would have the answers. Soon I found myself in a long relation. It was a give and take sort of thing. After all you can not have fire, with out a flame. Believe me, I had lots of flame.
For the next 11 years I had something. A cure for my ills? No. Something better than med's I have had prescribed over that time? Yes. Never will I use the word addiction. Thinking back I could use the word problem. I knew it then, but didn't care. When one's pee stinks because of what you put in your body, you have a problem. I can say the same for people that drink and smoke cigarettes. There was a time for about 4 years where I did too much. I'm sure if I were to do the amounts I did back then today, I would be hurt. Unable to function. Alas, as it were I could do my job and do it well. I could block out pain both physical and mental and end up enjoying myself.
In recent years, my intake has dwindled. I'll put it in perspective. "In my prime" I would smoke a half ounce a week, by myself. Sure I'd share with a friend here and there but 95% of it was just for me. This last year I would smoke a quarter ounce. Half the amount. Sharing with my "sissypants". Making it last 2 weeks. So I would no longer use the word problem. It was something my wife and I enjoyed doing, together.
What am I getting too? I really don't think I can say I'm quitting totally. If some one was to say "Hey, you wanna burn one?" I would probably say yes. So what do you call that? I haven't bought any for about a month now and really don't miss it. I know where to go to find it. But I will never need to. I never have had a need. It has always been and will only be if I want to. Right now my life is looking pretty good (minus some money issues due to my deadbeat cunt ex), which is also how I feel. Simply put, I don't want to.
Will I be a better person without it? Doubt it. Will life be better? Somewhat. Regrets? None.
Later.
I love you Julie.
posted by JW at
3:17 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home