Aggressive beeping
So if you've read my blog or if you're one of those people that actually know me, you know that I got a van recently. A van my family will rely on heavily in the years to come.
That said, I flashback to last Thursday. I was picking my step son up from school. I'm sitting there waiting with Connor and Shaina and this red caviler pulls in front of me. It appears as if they are going to back in beside me. So I'm sitting there watching this unfold nice and slowly. It appears to me the way this car is pulled in front of me there is no way they can get beside me. I figured, they must know what they are doing. Then I noticed the old woman driving with curlers in her hair. No joke.
She starts backing up, at idle speed. It had to be idle speed for how slow she was going. You'd think going slow would allow you lots of time for lots of things. For instance, glancing in your mirror and seeing the van behind you. I guess that I must have been kidding myself. It became clear that this lady was not trying to park beside me, but on top of me. I proceed to honk the horn. A steady honk. She keeps coming and then, bump...
...after the bump she stops, pulls forward and is coming back to give me more. Maybe she wanted to bump uglies with me. Anyway, at this point I'm pretty fired up. I proceed to aggressively beep. Then finally she stops and looks over and our eyes meet. I yell out the window "You fucking dumbass!". Now this wasn't at the top of my lungs, maybe 80% of what I could have done. It was loud. I woke up the lady beside me that was napping.
After that, the lady in the red caviler drove away and parked in a different location. I noticed several people looking in my direction, looking as if they were waiting for me to attack. I simply sat there and let my mind entertain me with visions. Like, me getting out and kicking her car or what I liked better, was me getting out and throwing her keys. Doing everyone a fucking favor.
What do I find most amusing about this whole thing? Just thinking about what all the regulars there were thinking. Here I am, there for the first time in a strange vehicle screaming profanity out the window. I'm sure I was the talk of a few soccer moms that afternoon.
This ends aggressive beeping.
Later.
That said, I flashback to last Thursday. I was picking my step son up from school. I'm sitting there waiting with Connor and Shaina and this red caviler pulls in front of me. It appears as if they are going to back in beside me. So I'm sitting there watching this unfold nice and slowly. It appears to me the way this car is pulled in front of me there is no way they can get beside me. I figured, they must know what they are doing. Then I noticed the old woman driving with curlers in her hair. No joke.
She starts backing up, at idle speed. It had to be idle speed for how slow she was going. You'd think going slow would allow you lots of time for lots of things. For instance, glancing in your mirror and seeing the van behind you. I guess that I must have been kidding myself. It became clear that this lady was not trying to park beside me, but on top of me. I proceed to honk the horn. A steady honk. She keeps coming and then, bump...
...after the bump she stops, pulls forward and is coming back to give me more. Maybe she wanted to bump uglies with me. Anyway, at this point I'm pretty fired up. I proceed to aggressively beep. Then finally she stops and looks over and our eyes meet. I yell out the window "You fucking dumbass!". Now this wasn't at the top of my lungs, maybe 80% of what I could have done. It was loud. I woke up the lady beside me that was napping.
After that, the lady in the red caviler drove away and parked in a different location. I noticed several people looking in my direction, looking as if they were waiting for me to attack. I simply sat there and let my mind entertain me with visions. Like, me getting out and kicking her car or what I liked better, was me getting out and throwing her keys. Doing everyone a fucking favor.
What do I find most amusing about this whole thing? Just thinking about what all the regulars there were thinking. Here I am, there for the first time in a strange vehicle screaming profanity out the window. I'm sure I was the talk of a few soccer moms that afternoon.
This ends aggressive beeping.
Later.
posted by JW at
12:45 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home