Thinking...

...sometimes it helps, sometimes it does not.

I was thinking, just now, about life. I was looking at a photo of a friend from school days and started to think. He was pretty crazy back then. Then a hand full of years later we would end up working together for a short time at Shop Vac. Since his days in school he had gone through some pretty serious shit. Bad accident and all the aftermath. Then I was looking at a pic from his wedding day. He looked so happy.

I often struggle with happiness. Too damn often. It is no ones fault but my own I suppose. Not sure faulting myself is the answer as I have been this way seemingly forever. Depression? Not sure. There was a time I would say 100% for sure, with no doubt, it was a serious problem. These days, not so much. It is a rare day when I say I'm depressed. Perhaps the rare day is a day too many...

I have the most love in my life that I have ever had. It breaks my heart hearing my "Sissypants" say "I just don't understand" when I have certain days, certain moods. Trust me my love...I don't understand either.

It also get twisted, inside this head of mine, when I have these days. Feeling so bad, not wanting my children ever to have those feelings but also not wanting them to know I have feelings like that. It is certainly not their fault.

For the record - I feel perfectly fine right now. I'm in a good place. Money is tight, but right now I can shrug my shoulders and say, what can ya do?

There is no real point to this. I was just thinking...

Later.

I love you Julie!!

Oh hell there is a new addition!

Princess Eve joined us officially on Christmas Eve.