1st post
John is JW and JW is John.
Well I'm not sure where to begin. A little with myself I suppose. First allow me to apologize for anything that may not make sense. I'm high at the moment. Since we are on the internet and we all can be free and honest allow me to take this opportunity to say "fuck off" to anyone that thinks I'm some kind of "bad" person because I get high. No offense, but if you think that way you're more retarded than you must look. I have 3 tattoos as well. You better pray for me next Sunday.
I could go back a couple weeks ago or years. I guess I should start with the basics. I'm probably like many people. Done somethings you regret and some you didn't. Then there's those times when you have a little of both. I'm currently in the early stages of divorce. I've been married since 1999. No children. I must say it is dragging out too much for my liking. I think it took like 30 minutes to get married, why does it take 3 months to get divorced? I can't get my wife to budge on a whole lot. You see my wife thinks a lot like a greedy child. Even though you have something that is obviously yours, she wants it. She seems to think she is owed, so her payday will come whether I like it or not. We have a house together. On paper anyway. There is a seller all lined up. This too is dragging. Hopefully tomorrow will be a very productive day with many things.
My cat is demanding my attention...
Then there's my "sissypants". The newest love in my life. I met her 2 years ago and life hasn't been the same. She too is married. She came to me one December day this past with news that she was pregnant. Since that day I have been trying to come to terms with the fact that I was going to be a daddy. Stoner me. The man with enough on his plate already. Sure I can say I was scared, I can even admit confused. I knew though I wouldn't go anywhere. I was going to do the best I could with the situation. Pay the price, and I've come to think the reward would be worth it. However situation can change...
About three weeks ago now things started going on the side of soap opera material. Turns out the husband that has been neutered is the dad. Well according to the test results he has. Also, I've only seen "sissypants" twice since then. To say I'm a wreck would be like calling getting hit in the nuts a tickle. I have so much on my plate now it's spilling onto the table. You see the husband got the test results back in 4 days. The quickest turn around time I found for the test results would be 7 days. So now I question if he actually could have lied about that. I am calling the testing place tomorrow about turn around times. I'll fill you in.
So here I sit, thinking. Do I demand a test now? What would happened if I tested and the kid turned out to be mine after all? That is if we went according to percentages. Talk about another twist. You see the test that is done to do all this isn't the best for the fetus. Check it out: http://www.genetree.com/product/prenatal-paternity-testing.asp She had a miscarriage before so there is some emotional problems involved with all this, as if there weren't any without that fact. I'm not so sure she'd be willing to do it again. There's only one way to find out.
I know my writing has been at a fevered pitch. I haven't written like this in a good 3 years or so. Here's something I wrote the other day.
Sometimes once the mind has been broken,
it heals incorrectly.
So, like a bone,
it must be rebroken.
There is no doctor to do the breaking,
and no one to oversee the healing.
This must all be done by the one,
who knows their own reflection.
You must recognize when your own eyes,
are telling you something.
They are the window,
to ones soul.
The hardest thing to do if you can imagine,
is to look in the mirror and admit to yourself something is wrong.
Taking that first step,
begins the long healing process.
Don't be fooled by mixed messages from the outside,
pull down the blinds,
become one with who you are on in the inside.
Then and only then,
can you begin to live life as who you are.
Nothing greater could come from healing,
nothing...
Yea, I'm head over heals for her. I'd hate to think it was for nothing.
Well it's time for me to try to take a nap before work. Maybe I'll pay a visit to this from there. You see, my job is so filled with excitement I will have time to do that. If you knew me, you'd know I wasn't bragging about that fact.
Later
Well I'm not sure where to begin. A little with myself I suppose. First allow me to apologize for anything that may not make sense. I'm high at the moment. Since we are on the internet and we all can be free and honest allow me to take this opportunity to say "fuck off" to anyone that thinks I'm some kind of "bad" person because I get high. No offense, but if you think that way you're more retarded than you must look. I have 3 tattoos as well. You better pray for me next Sunday.
I could go back a couple weeks ago or years. I guess I should start with the basics. I'm probably like many people. Done somethings you regret and some you didn't. Then there's those times when you have a little of both. I'm currently in the early stages of divorce. I've been married since 1999. No children. I must say it is dragging out too much for my liking. I think it took like 30 minutes to get married, why does it take 3 months to get divorced? I can't get my wife to budge on a whole lot. You see my wife thinks a lot like a greedy child. Even though you have something that is obviously yours, she wants it. She seems to think she is owed, so her payday will come whether I like it or not. We have a house together. On paper anyway. There is a seller all lined up. This too is dragging. Hopefully tomorrow will be a very productive day with many things.
My cat is demanding my attention...
Then there's my "sissypants". The newest love in my life. I met her 2 years ago and life hasn't been the same. She too is married. She came to me one December day this past with news that she was pregnant. Since that day I have been trying to come to terms with the fact that I was going to be a daddy. Stoner me. The man with enough on his plate already. Sure I can say I was scared, I can even admit confused. I knew though I wouldn't go anywhere. I was going to do the best I could with the situation. Pay the price, and I've come to think the reward would be worth it. However situation can change...
About three weeks ago now things started going on the side of soap opera material. Turns out the husband that has been neutered is the dad. Well according to the test results he has. Also, I've only seen "sissypants" twice since then. To say I'm a wreck would be like calling getting hit in the nuts a tickle. I have so much on my plate now it's spilling onto the table. You see the husband got the test results back in 4 days. The quickest turn around time I found for the test results would be 7 days. So now I question if he actually could have lied about that. I am calling the testing place tomorrow about turn around times. I'll fill you in.
So here I sit, thinking. Do I demand a test now? What would happened if I tested and the kid turned out to be mine after all? That is if we went according to percentages. Talk about another twist. You see the test that is done to do all this isn't the best for the fetus. Check it out: http://www.genetree.com/product/prenatal-paternity-testing.asp She had a miscarriage before so there is some emotional problems involved with all this, as if there weren't any without that fact. I'm not so sure she'd be willing to do it again. There's only one way to find out.
I know my writing has been at a fevered pitch. I haven't written like this in a good 3 years or so. Here's something I wrote the other day.
Sometimes once the mind has been broken,
it heals incorrectly.
So, like a bone,
it must be rebroken.
There is no doctor to do the breaking,
and no one to oversee the healing.
This must all be done by the one,
who knows their own reflection.
You must recognize when your own eyes,
are telling you something.
They are the window,
to ones soul.
The hardest thing to do if you can imagine,
is to look in the mirror and admit to yourself something is wrong.
Taking that first step,
begins the long healing process.
Don't be fooled by mixed messages from the outside,
pull down the blinds,
become one with who you are on in the inside.
Then and only then,
can you begin to live life as who you are.
Nothing greater could come from healing,
nothing...
Yea, I'm head over heals for her. I'd hate to think it was for nothing.
Well it's time for me to try to take a nap before work. Maybe I'll pay a visit to this from there. You see, my job is so filled with excitement I will have time to do that. If you knew me, you'd know I wasn't bragging about that fact.
Later
posted by JW at
6:23 PM
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